AS SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA RECENTLY DISCOVERED ON HIS STATE VISIT TO LONDON, FINDING THE RIGHT GIFT FOR HER MAJESTY IS AN ART IN ITSELF. IT IS ONE OF THOSE SOCIAL FAUX-PAS THAT ALL GUESTS DREAD, BEING INVITED FOR A FUNCTION AND SEEKING TO IMPRESS YOUR HOST, YOU SPEND HOURS SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT GIFT ONLY TO DISCOVER, WHEN YOU ARRIVE, THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS BROUGHT ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME THING. WHEN PRESIDENT ZUMA MET THE QUEEN AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE ON THE FIRST DAY OF HIS OFFICIAL STATE VISIT, HE BEAMED WITH OBVIOUS PRIDE AS HE PRESENTED A SPECIALLY-CRAFTED ONE OF A KIND CHESS SET FEATURING ZULU AND XHOSA WARRIORS MADE OF GLASS AND PEWTER. 'THE PERFECT GIFT', HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT. 'DECORATIVE, SYMBOLIC OF MY CULTURE AND HERITAGE AND HIGHLY UNIQUE. SHE CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. . . ' BUT SHE HAD, BARLEY 20 MINUTES LATER, ON THE TOUR OF THE PALACE'S PICTURE GALLERY, HER MAJESTY AND PRESIDENT ZUMA STOPPED TO ADMIRE A PRESENT GIVEN TO THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH BY THE VISITOR'S PREDECESSOR, NELSON MANDELA, IN 1996. IT BECAME A SLIGHTLY AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN IT WAS REALIZED THAT THE CHESS SET WAS AN ALMOST IDENTICAL SET WHICH, JUST LIKE PRESIDENT ZUMA'S, FEATURED PIECES CARVED INTO THE SHAPE OF ZULU TRIBESMEN. 'OH, ANOTHER SET', SAID PRESIDENT ZUMA, CLEARLY LESS EBULLIENT THAN HE WAS EARLIER IN THE DAY.
TO BE HONEST, IT WOULD BE EXTRAORDINARY IF SUCH A MIX-UP HADN'T HAPPENED BEFORE. DURING HER HISTORIC 58 YEARS ON THE THRONE, THE QUEEN HAS HOSTED NUMEROUS PRESIDENTS, PRIME MINISTERS, MONARCHS AND OTHER POTENTATES AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE AND, ON EACH OCCASION, HAS BEEN GIVEN A GIFT, OR GIFTS, WITH WHICH THE VISITING VIP HAS HOPED TO IMPRESS HER. AND THE SAME THING HAPPENS WHEN SHE VISITS THEM; AND EXCHANGE OF OFFICIAL PRESENTS, USUALLY ON THE FIRST DAY, AS A GESTURE OF GOODWILL BETWEEN VISITING AND HOST NATIONS. AS A RESULT THE QUEEN NOW HAS SOMEWHERE IN THE REGION OF OVER 1,600 OFFICIAL GIFTS, MANY OF THEM DISPLAYED AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE, WINDSOR CASTLE, HOLYROODHOUSE, SANDRINGHAM OR BALMORAL. WORKS OF ART ARE A POPULAR CHOICE, AS ARE COFFEE TABLE BOOKS, HIGHLIGHTING SOME ASPECT OF THE VISITOR'S HOME COUNTRY, AND JEWELRY. MEMBERS OF THE SAUDI ROYAL-FAMILY, IN PARTICULAR, HAVE LAVISHED THE QUEEN WITH SOME STUNNING AND AMAZING NECKLACES. BUT THE QUEN HAS ALSO RECEIVED SOME RATHER MORE UNIQUELY UNUSUAL GIFTS, MANY OF WHICH WERE PUT ON DISPLAY IN A SPECIAL EXHIBITION AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE IN 2002 TO CELEBRATE HER GOLDEN JUBILEE. THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE OF THE EXHIBITION WAS A 6 FOOT LONG WINE COOLER IN THE SHAPE OF A GRASSHOPPER GIVEN TO THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH BY GEORGES POMPIDOUS, DURING THE QUEEN'S STATE VISIT TO FRANCE IN 1972. THE HUGE CREATURE'S HEAD AND WING CASES WERE MADE OF SEVRES BISCUIT PORCELAIN, WHILE THE LEGS WERE NICKEL-PLATED STEEL AND THE WINGS AND INTERIOR POLISHED BRASS. MOST BRILLIANT OF ALL, WHEN THE WINGS WERE ROTATED, IT BECAME A LOW LEVEL WINE TABLE. SADLY, THE PALACE ADMITTED, THE DUKE HAD BEEN UNABLE TO FIND A USE FOR IT IN THE 30 TEARS SINCE IT HAD BEEN GIVEN TO HIM, AND THE LARGE BUG HAS LAIN INSIDE THE STATE ENTRANCE TO WINDSOR CASTLE, COLLECTING DUST. THE QUEEN NEVER COMMENTS ON ANY OF THE GIFTS SHE RECEIVES, ALTHOUGH HER EXPRESSION SOMETIMES GIVES HER AWAY, BUT THE PALACE HAS LET IT BE KNOWN THAT SHE PREFERS SOMETHING 'COMMEMORATIVE' AND NOTHING 'TOO EXPENSIVE'. AND THE QUEEN HERSELF? WHAT DOES SHE GIVE? THE STANDARD GIFT ON STATE VISITS IS A SIGNED PHOTOGRAPH OF HERSELF AND HER HUSBAND IN A SILVER FRAME.
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